Dating: How's your luck? - Page 3
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
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I've only had one "Dating" experience really, and it turned out pretty interesting. I was interested in this girl since I was in grade 8, so probably when I was 14. I mean really into her, even though I was young, it's the only time I've ever experienced the "Love at first sight" thing (I'll just call my love interest "The girl" from now on). So over my high school years I never talked to The girl. I'm pretty shy by nature and it doesn't help that I was a complete loner all through high school. I had a few friends but meh, never hung out with them a lot. So fast forward to after graduation, I would say I was about 18. I've never seen her really all this time, I had all through high school but once again I never did anything back them. A few months after grad my older brother starts dating her sister, and as I hung out with my brother at his place every now and then I got to know my brothers Girlfriend (The Girls sister naturally) a bit better. So fate decides to step in, and of course The Girl also hangs out with her sister too, and because my Older brother and his girlfriend are living in his apartment, The Girl ends up going over there frequently. So the inevitable thing happens and we get to know each other better, but as I find out she's already going out with someone. So I bide my time, we see each other when the occasion comes up that we hang out at my brothers place at the same time, and things are fine. We become friends (Not really close though) and things are fine. Remember that all this time I'm pretty much in love with The Girl, and my feelings are only reinforced as I get to know her better. We have a lot in common, we have similar personalities, likes etc. So some months down the road I find out through Facebook status updates/my brother/her sister that shes having a shitty time in her current relationship. It turns out the guy shes dating is pretty much crazy. I won't go into a lot of details but hes really controlling, would get physical with her (Not hitting but he would grab her and shit) and generally had a really unpleasant douchebag inauthentic personality. So BAM, one day the inevitable break up occurs, and even me the shy guy sees the golden opportunities. So I start talking to her a lot more (Mostly through FB) and we see each other sometime and as time passes we get a bit closer and closer. One big factor that made this possible was that I was comforting her a lot about her breakup, and was one of the few people she could vent to and spill feelings on that she wouldn't with others (She was also very shy. I also realizing this was a mistake in a way after).
She needed it too, because Mr Douche was starting to stalk her after the breakup. He would drive past her house, leave her literally hundred of text messages and phone messages. Couldn't break his obsession I guess. So as we get to talking more, and I help her with her life problems we become pretty good friends. Then one day as I'm talking to her online as I usually do she says she wants to tell me something. She tells me she thinks she likes me. WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT! And I mean that in a good way too. It was one of the best and most emotional moments in my entire life, I was literally in shock and shaking that she had just seemingly admitted this to me (Remember that I've liked her intensely for 4 or 5 years by this point) I suppose there where a few hints she dropped over the past few weeks, but I didn't think she would just tell me. So I tell her I like her back, and she acts surprised and whatnot, we talk a bit more then I pack it in for the night. The next morning I have a message on my FB profile from her. She tells me that she "isn't sure" if she really does like me or not, and that she hoped she didn't give me the wrong impression, but that at the time she felt like she needed to tell me. So I brush it off as not a big deal, I mean what the hell, I have to respect her feelings. So we continue talking over the next few weeks and eventually she does admit that indeed she likes me, so we keep the talking going, and I see her sometimes over the next month or so. But as time goes on and we continue talking she seems to put less and less effort into our conversations, it would just sound like she was bored no matter what I said. And strangely she gives every indications she still likes me, especially when I see her too. Eventually on one fateful day in the morning I talk to her for a bit to say hi and she tells me she needs to tell me something important. So she drops the bomb and tells me plainly she doesn't like me. And from the ecstasy I fist experienced with her first admission her second sends me to the pits of hell. It's the worst feeling I've ever felt, it's indescribably crushing, a magnificent and all encompassing atom bomb of.. pain?
Not really any way to describe it. I'm in a state of shock for the rest of the day. I would like to note that things where more intricate than this too, my shitty writing can't capture all the nuances of life. It was more grand, dramatic and emotionally involving than described. So after she tells me I don't really know what to do, so I try to take the “Well I'll still be your friend” route. But it just doesn't work out, and we talk less and less. To add to the humiliation too I talked to her a few times after missing too much sleep, and regaled contrived reasons I'd come up with about what I did wrong, how I was sorry etc etc. That just adds to the awkwardness so I just say screw it and stop talking to her. It turns out too that we didn't have as much in common as I thought originally, so we've ended up getting into stupid fights about things for no reason other than personality differences. I'm still a bit bitter about it to this day, and still don't really talk to her at all. We just don't get along that well and all that's happened between us is too much of a wall to climb, so we just avoid each other. Want to know the funny thing though? The thing that will make all this stupid story worth it? The thing that ended up making me laugh my ass off when I finally saw it coming? In the beginning of the story I mentioned her older sister and my older brother where dating right? Well they got on awesomely and will be getting married this month. She will become my relative (step sister?) when that happens.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Oh fate, ye are a cruel mistress.
Yey 50 posts.
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I went to this friend of mine's birthday and there I met two of her friends(sisters, gonna call them girl 1 and girl 2). So, I'm chatting with girl 1 with absolutely no second intentions, but we end up talking for a lot time. Then some guy who usually hooks up with her gets there and while she's blowing him off I'm engaging in conversation with her sister(girl 2). I find girl 2 very attractive and nice, so I start thinking if I should make a move. But my first friend(the birthday girl) starts feeling sick and we take off. The next day meet her in class and she starts talking to me about how girl 1 liked me and how I should call her, etc. Turns out my friends though I was also into this girl and started talking to her about me. Well, I explain that I was actually into her sister(girl 2) and she tells that girl 2 has only had 1 boyfriend and that was like, 3 years ago. I usually like challenge, and I liked the girl so I think why not. Well, I ask her out for 1 month and she always says yes but ends up cancelling it. I get pissed so I ask her directly if she likes me, and she says that she doesn't know. Well, I take that as a no and move on. 1 week later she comes to talk to me, all friendly and nice. I start thinking she's into me and only after another month I realize that she's not into me, she's just into inflating her ego with the attention I give her. Now I realize that her sister(girl 1) is a pretty nice girl, but I'm not going to make a move on her after trying to get her sister.
Besides that I'm hella picky when it comes to women :| and very shy. Over the course of 21 years I've only met 2 girls I would want to date.
The first I didn't have the courage to ask out, the second shot me down. GG life.
Today was our 5th date in her place, watched a movie with her, had sex and we showered together, so I´m very happy.
It´s all about confidence guys, if they see you lack it , then it´s GG!!
Gl to everyone, and trust me, love can be something very AWESOME!!
On October 09 2011 17:39 Isaac wrote:
how does one find a date outside of high school, or college?
I've found dates on trains, at work, people I met trough friends.
I know one thing: as you get a bit older you won't fall in love so easily so when you do and it isn't mutual it hurts like hell.
No offense intended, but it sounds to me like you're kind of a push over. You gotta show the lady that you're not a joke and that you ought to be taken seriously. Right from the beginning once she starts giving that lip about how cold it is despite you giving you're best effort to accommodate, you gotta show her that the only thing that ought to be coming out of her mouth is nothing but gratitude. I know that this may sound harsh to some of you, but especially once this has happened a second time, getting a little bit physical with her is not entirely out of the question.
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Extra points for rings.